[Upfront apology: I am at the mercy of the laptop Mon Amour gave me, which uses programming he loves and I do not understand in the least. So though I have always been fairly capable of formatting my blog posts to how I want them, there are lots of layers to this that I cannot figure out. It is a constant struggle that needs to be addressed even more since I need to be able to rely on my own tech knowledge and skills and not his, but until then, I have this to work with. So apologies for inconsistencies and any visual off-ness that I am not able to figure out how to fix.]
I'm trying to be better at my own self-care to help me through everything. So many things have fallen off my regular track in the last few years. I've hated that, but still struggled to get it back to where I want it. I feel it is imperative to get those in place now, because I need the sustaining power, the peace and clarity in my life, and the personal strength to help me pull myself and my children through all of this. I'm not ashamed to say I've resorted to using an app to help me. It's been really, really helpful in reminding me of the things I want to do but often forget because I'm swept up by all the other demands. Listening to a General Conference talk each day has been one of the goals I added this week. At the beginning of the week, I was listening to talks referenced in this week's Come, Follow Me lesson.
Once I'd done those, I started at the beginning of the most recent General Conference. Yesterday's talk was Elder Holland's "As a Little Child," where I rememberd his story of the young man passing the sacrament in spite of many physical obstacles. Just a few weeks before this talk was given, I had been asking my ministering brother who is also in the Bishopric if we could figure out a way for my husband to pass the sacrament that would not take away from the spirit and purpose of the ordinance. This story gave me hope then, and did again yesterday.
Today's talk was Sister Johnson's "Spiritually Whole in Him." This was a subject I was often aware of because I have a friend back in Virginia who suffers from Locked-In Syndrome. Her extreme physical ailments are not being healed in this life, yet I have seen how she has worked to be spiritually whole in our Savior, and blessed so many lives around her to be the same. It's a subject I trust and believe in, so was comforting to hear again today. Two things especially stood out for me:
1. This reminder: "But He may not provide healing from illness and disease—chronic pain, autoimmune disorders like multiple sclerosis, cancer, anxiety, depression, and the like. That kind of healing is on the Lord’s time. And in the meantime, we can choose to be made whole by exercising our faith in Him!"
2. Her reference to Paul:
The Apostle Paul had some kind of affliction—what he described as a “thorn in the flesh,” which three times he had asked the Lord to remove. And the Lord said to Paul, “My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness.” To which Paul declared:
“Most gladly therefore will I … glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
“Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, … in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.”
Paul’s example suggests that even in our weakness, our strength in Jesus Christ can be made perfect—that is, complete and whole. Those who wrestle with mortal struggles and turn to God in faith like Paul can receive the blessings of becoming acquainted with God.
Paul was not healed of his affliction, but he was spiritually whole in Jesus Christ. And even in his adversity, the light of his conversion to and strength from Jesus Christ was shining, and he was joyful.
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I'd also like to post the verses that brought comfort this week from Come, Follow Me lessons.
*Doctrine & Covenants 59: 1-2. My husband was reviewing last week's lesson in our Family Home Evening Scripture and shared this one.
"For those that live shall inherit the earth, and those that die shall rest from all their labors, and their works shall follow them; and they shall receive a crown in the mansionsof my Father, which I have prepared for them.
"Yea, blessed are they whose feet stand upon the land of Zion, who have obeyed my gospel; for they shall receive for their reward the good things of the earth, and it shall bring forth in its strength."
*Doctrine & Covenants 61: 36. This one I had the kids repeat aloud with me a couple of times so we can all remember. Monkey 3 said she really liked it:
"And now, verily I say unto you, and what I say unto one I say unto all, be of good cheer, little children; for I am in your midst, and I have not forsaken you"
*Doctrine & Covenants 58: 3-5. This one I have loved for many years. I first fully encountered it in high school. I had just learned about my only sister having a miscarriage. It hit me harder than I expected. We had a youth temple trip that morning, and I was seeking comfort of any kind. I flipped my scriptures open to this passage, and was overwhelmed by the power and comfort it brought. I have turned to that quote so many times in the 2+ decades that have followed. It was not readily on my mind in the last couple of years, and the Lord definitely wanted to remind me. Because I was trying to read the scriptures for this week's Come, Follow Me lesson. I couldn't remember which verses they were, and I coulddn't find my open tab for that lesson. So I made a guess around where we were and opened up this section. As soon as I started reading these well beloved verses, I felt the Spirit pouring over me in comfort and reminding. I feel like my life in the last several years has been one thing after another. And these verses so instilled in me since I was a teenager helped me pull through all of that. I needed the fresh reminder as I face my biggest trial yet.
"Ye cannot behold with your natural eyes, for the present time, the design of your God concerning those things which shall come hereafter, and the glory which shall follow after much tribulation.
"For after much tribulation come the blessings. Wherefore the day cometh that ye shall be crowned with much glory; the hour is not yet, but is nigh at hand.
"Remember this, which I tell you before, that you may lay it to heart, and receive that which is to follow."
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