Helping me Deal

I took the kids to a temple open house Thursday morning, the day after my husband and I finally were able to worship in the temple together for the first time in over 6 years. On the way to the open house, I listened to my "Soothing Secular" playlist to put the kids in the right mindset for what we would be seeing and feeling there. 

I haven't listened much to this playlist, so I didn't really remember what was on it. The songs had me thinking and feeling a whole range of things. While the music and the open house were both good experiences, I did come out on the other side feeling more of the down emotions. As I teach my kids, this is not a bad thing. Every emotion is okay to feel. What matters is how you deal with it. For me, it was needing a break from all my overwhelming tasks and allowing myself to process what has been happening. 

It has been 4 days of processing and has been a hard place to be. But I've been able to listen to music, cry, talk, laugh, go on a date with my husband, attend a school event and a family event, and found some little joys to keep me going. I even found a self-care app that I think is just what I've been needing for months to help me get some of the basics in my life covered and will help me focus on the now which is what my therapist has been telling me over and over to do in the last year.

Dealing with difficult things is not new to me. It's just that this difficult thing is completely new to me. However, I've been having little reminders during these last few days that the Lord has been preparing me since I was a teenager to have the strength to get through the things that feel like keep being thrown my way. Not like I'll ever be ready to lose my best friend earlier than I had expected when we married just 8 years ago. But I'll know how to work through the thoughts and the emotions that will come with it because I've had a lifetime with the Lord lifting me up during the hard times and reminding me of the wonderful times. And He will continue to do so.